Hello, Next Chapter: Grace and Gratitude in Life Transitions

Truth be told, I would definitely not choose to navigate three major life transitions all at one time, much less all in the same quarter.  Congratulations to my husband, who retired at the end of September.  Best wishes to our son as he goes off to his new adventure, making us empty nesters.  Big love to Dale’s parents as we negotiate what aging in place and supporting aging parents mean to us and them.  Yep, that’s right.  Hello Next Chapter.  We’re glad you’re here.

We’ve decided the best way to approach all of this is to consider it one big adventure.  The adventure here is to literally create your own adventure.  But it’s not as easy as it sounds.  The journey feels less like traveling the superhighways out west and more like a rural roundabout. Lots of circles.

Of course, this next adventure means a quieter house as we adjust to being empty nesters.  In almost thirty years together, we have never not had children in our home.  Suddenly our house feels too big and not quite right. The space feels all wrong.  And too quiet for sure.  But we are wary of yet another large life transition – moving.

It occurs to us that waiting a year might be a good idea so we can give ourselves time to adjust to the new normal, and for Dale to enjoy not waking up every day at 430 a.m. to go to work, but instead sleeping in until 7, then going to the grocery store or doctor in the middle of the day or taking his wife out to lunch.  Maybe travel a little.

It also includes making space for our roles as caregivers for Dale’s parents, and what it means to help them age in place.  They are in their upper 80s – talk about a legacy! – in fairly good health but need a little help now and then.  And maybe a little more help as time goes on, who knows for sure? We spend time chatting about how we will work together with them to provide the support they need and not take over their lives – allowing them to live as independently as is possible for them.

But first, fix the knee.  I can tell you now it probably would have been way more fun to celebrate retirement with a big trip to Europe or perhaps a flight to California to tour wine country.  Maybe next year.  Our adventure started by trading Dale’s worn-out knee in for a new model.  Spoiler alert: a new knee is no joke and it hurts.  A lot.  It feels counterintuitive, but for him, it made sense to do this as an easeful transition to retirement – which up until the day he actually did it, he wasn’t sure he actually would.   As we walked into the hospital, he was a flight risk as he considered getting back into the car and going home. 😊

1st day of Retirement – Breakfast on the patio

But, with his eye on the prize, he is focused on the new opportunities this slight setback to retirement is giving him… looking forward to the simple things like walking around the block pain-free.  To driving to see his parents without stopping to rest.  For creating a new legacy in this chapter.

Navigating these transitions has meant dealing with the paradox of both an acknowledgment of what was, along with the celebration of what’s to come.  This season in our lives reminds us that there is always room for grace and gratitude.  Things like:

• Our friends and our Meridian family are pure gold. We are extremely grateful for our community of friends and family who have chosen to come along on our adventure.  When the days are hard and we are questioning what’s next, it feels good to get a phone call or text from someone close to us checking in.
• Find the good in every day. Focusing on the good things every day is an opportunity to find more good in every day.  When we look at the positives, it trains our brains to seek out the good, by default leaving less room for what may not be going our way.
• Take it one day at a time. Trying to figure everything out all at once is a drain on our energy.  Choosing our own adventure means that we get to be present and enjoy the moment, rather than be worried and anxious about the future to come.  This truly is a practice in learning to enjoy the journey.

It’s definitely a lot. And sometimes I feel like we are not dealing with these changes as much as we are reeling from them – that life is happening to us.  But what continues to remain true for us is that just like we don’t always know which roundabout exit to take, there is no map for this journey.  And we don’t have to figure it out today.