Meridian Blog

My husband turns a magical age soon – a fairly big one, where people seriously start to contemplate retiring. There’s been a lot of talk in our house over the last 6 months, maybe a year, about getting ready for “the big day.” Of course, we are considerate of the money side of things, but finances aside – definitely talk to your advisor to make sure your financial picture is sound – our conversations are centered around the emotional aspect of retirement.

What does it take to be emotionally ready to retire? For sure, it’s different for everyone. Here are the three main things we’ve been talking about as he decides when it’s time for his next chapter.

Do I still have fun working?

Technically, he can retire now if he wants. The identity associated with the work he does, along with the fulfilment and purpose that comes along with working, keeps him there. For now. But the reality is, there will come a time when it does not. He tries to be intentional about this and asks himself: Is work still fun? When he has more “man, I need to retire” moments over “let’s tackle this” he’ll be ready.

What will I do when I retire?

As a person who has been deeply invested in his career for most of his adult life, this is probably one of the bigger fears for him. Aside from a few years’ stint as a baseball coach when our son was younger, hobbies were not a priority for him. Over the last year or so, he’s found joy in thinking about how he will spend his time – and he’s excited about the possibilities. For him it may look like some sort of combination of volunteering with the local baseball league, taking a part-time job because he enjoys the satisfaction of working, and taking a more proactive approach to fitness. This checks off boxes for “staying active” portion and the “fulfilment” part for him. For others that may look like fitness, volunteering, spending time with children and grandchildren.

Is your spouse OK with your retirement?

My husband is concerned about my readiness for his retirement. And for good reason. I’ve been somewhat resistant to the idea until about eight months ago. For over 28 years we’ve worked together towards our goals, and his retiring will change the dynamic of our marriage. Added to that, most couples retire fairly close to each other, but with 13 years age difference between us, my reluctance was compounded by uncertainty around how our partnership would work. I’m not ready to give up my career, so we’ve had lots of conversation around what it looks like us as he retires and I continue working.

Are we ready for the roles to change a bit? In what could not be a more apropos moment – he is currently trying to get dinner on the table – despite the frustration he has in not loving to cook – while I’m writing this tell-all blog. At the end of the day, we may have to budget for more dinners out when he retires, but that could be fun too!

It’s all part of the process… but as with any change, patience and grace will get you further than anxiety and fear. After all, we’re not retiring from life, we’re choosing our next adventure.